Poisonous Touch
by yukuro
Summary: [PG15 to Rish] After his failure at the pro qualifier exam, Isumi wanders in darkness and sorrow. In attempt to comfort his friend, Waya goes with Isumi to his house for a game of go. However, comfort mostly always comes with pain. [IsumixWaya]


**Disclaimer:** yuku doesn't own anyone… :D edges away from closet filled with tied-up Hikago characters

**Pairing:** IsumixWaya

**Warning:** Borders PG-15 to R. Someone please tell me if I rated this too loosely . .;; Oh, and before anyone jumps me, screaming that Waya claimed he did not see Isumi after the pro qualifier exam, just read until the end please. Thanks x]

Poisonous Touch

by: yukuro

Failure.

With every step he took in the downpour of rain, all Isumi Shinichirou could think about with his head downcast was failure. Once again he had failed to pass the test to become a professional go player, but this time specifically weighed heavily on his heart. He had done something horrible in a game. His guilt became worse when he realized in the finals he was wishing for his friends to fail just so he would have a chance. His second horrible act was wishing the failure of his best friend.

Isumi treaded slowly, not feeling the cold rain splashing down heavily on his skin. His clothes were completely soaked, but he didn't seem to notice. The direction he traveled became hazy and before long, Isumi walked in silence in a random direction without bringing his eyes up to look even once.

Suddenly, the rain stopped pounding on his shoulders. Lifting his eyes slightly, Isumi realized a person stood before him, holding an umbrella over his head. Closing his eyes, he let his head fall downcast again, not caring who it was.

"Isumi-san…"

Biting his lip in concern, Waya squeezed the handle of his umbrella. He could clearly see the raised goose bumps on the older boy's arms and how he shivered from cold. Carefree Waya, who was always smiling or smirking brightly, suddenly felt his heart clench. Slowly, he began again, "Isumi-san…"

"Waya," the taller boy said quietly, still not moving from his spot. "Come with me to my house. I want to play a game of Go."

Blinking, Waya stood in confusion for a moment before he found a small smile spreading across his lips. Still holding the umbrella protectively over both their heads, he answered just as quietly, "Of course, Isumi-san…"

It was a silent taxi ride to Isumi's house. Waya sat in understanding silence while Isumi stared out the window from behind his long bangs. Closing his eyes, the younger boy took a soft breath of air. He had been so worried about Isumi, the happiness of finally becoming a pro faded rather quickly. After finding that no one was home at the older boy's house, Waya instantly went out to look for his friend even though he was unsure of what to say once he found him.

After paying the taxi driver and stepping into the house, Isumi went straight to the go-ban in his room without bothering to change out of his wet clothes while Waya used the phone to call his parents. Isumi sat silently at the go-ban, his thoughts dark and murky.

Taking a deep breath, Waya stepped into Isumi's room and silently went about, pulling a large towel out to drape over the older boy's shoulders. He had learned his way around after coming over several times.

"Your parents left a message," Waya said quietly, kneeling down on the other side of the go-ban. "They said they had to go stay with your uncle in the hospital and they'll be back tomorrow in the evening."

Of course, the younger boy thought it was a better idea to leave out the portion they had mentioned about excitedly waiting for the results of the pro qualifier exam. Carefully setting two stones on the surface of the board, Waya went on, "I hope you don't mind if I spend the night. Isumi-san?"

Silently, Isumi scooped the white stones back into the container and traded Waya for the black. They played in total silence for an hour with only the quiet ticking of the clock disturbing it. The room was beginning to grow dark.

Sighing as he placed his stone down, Waya looked around the room. Rising to his feet, he said with a sigh, "I'll go turn some lights on."

Before he got very far, Isumi reached out and grabbed the corner of the younger boy's shirt, halting him. His face remained downcast, but his grip was firm on the loose bit of cloth.

Eyebrows creasing with obvious concern, Waya turned and slowly placed his warm hand over Isumi's cold one. "Isumi-san…what is it?"

In one swift movement, the go-ban fell to its side and the stones scattered across the floor. Waya squeezed his eyes shut for a moment on the impact when he hit the ground. When he opened his eyes again, Isumi hovered above him with his hands on either side of the younger boy's face and knees on either side of the boy's body. The towel slipped from his back.

"Again…" Isumi whispered quietly, trembling slightly. His heart pounded in frustration and sorrow. His eyes remained squeezed shut, but still a few tears managed to escape and dripped onto Waya's face below him. "I've failed again, Waya. But this time it hurts more…because I know I've done something horrible…"

Waya remained still on the ground as Isumi's tears fell onto his own cheeks and slowly rolled onto the ground. Reaching up, Waya pushed a few of the older boy's bangs away to get a clearer view of his face. Doing his best to comfort his friend, the younger boy began soothingly, "No, Isumi-san… You haven't done anything wrong. You haven't…"

"Yes, I have!" Isumi yelled, eyes still squeezed angrily shut as tears streaked his face. He leaned back and sat on his knees beside Waya's legs. "Waya… If you knew what I did… If you knew, you would hate me…"

Beginning to feel slightly afraid, Waya sat up slowly and inched closer to the older boy. Forcing a smile onto his face, he said with a cracked laugh, "Don't be ridiculous, Isumi-san! We're best friends. You know I could never hate you no matter what."

"During that game when I played Shindou, I…" Isumi's brows furrowed as he leaned forward, trailing off of his sentence. His hand slowly balled into a fist. "Did you know, Waya? I… I even wanted you to fail…! I'm so selfish!"

Heart wrenching with pain, Waya inched as close as he could get and slowly placed his arms around the older boy, pulling him into a loose embrace. Sighing softly when Isumi rested his trembling head onto his shoulder, Waya closed his eyes and let the older boy's arms encircle his thin waist, tightening their hug. "That…that doesn't make you a bad person, Isumi-san. Everyone's selfish at times. I'm sure even the others wanted us to fail too, but…"

"Waya…" Isumi let himself relax slightly, tightly holding onto the younger boy. Holding him so close was intoxicating. "You're so warm…"

"That's because you're wet," Waya said with a small smile, almost letting a soft laugh escape.

"Your body…is so warm…"

Waya could feel his face heating up in embarrassment as the older boy pulled him impossibly closer. He nearly jumped when Isumi turned to breathe softly on his neck. "I-Isumi-san, that tickles…" he tried to laugh good-naturedly. When cool lips attached to the skin on his neck, Waya's eyes grew wide. "I…Isumi-san?"

"Waya… I'm sorry," Isumi whispered painfully before lifting his head from the boy's shoulder to kiss his soft lips. His arms kept the smaller boy in a tight embrace, almost making it hard for him to breathe. Waya gasped for breath into their kiss, but made no sounds of protest.

"Please tell me to stop, Waya," Isumi breathed as he kissed the boy's neck repeated. "Please tell me now before I become uncontrollable. If I hear it from you, I'll be able to stop. Please, Waya…"

Shaking his head, the younger boy could only cling to the older boy and let soft gasps escape his lips. He said no words.

Waya couldn't help but have his fingernails dig into Isumi's back as he squirmed faintly in the pain of their heat. The bed was much softer than the floor, but creaked loudly every time Isumi moved. Waya's eyes were squeezed shut, his face was flushed brightly, and his mouth was trembling. Despite how much it hurt, he still managed to gasp out every once in a while, "Isumi-san…"

Isumi remained silently, but kept his arms wrapped tightly around the younger boy. He knew blood had already stained Waya's skin, but no matter how he tried, he couldn't stop himself. His chest caught a painful breath each time Waya quietly whispered his name. He felt as if he was dying a little minute by minute…

It was late when Isumi collapsed on top of the younger boy, gasping for air. Waya's fingernails drew blood on his back, but he ignored it. Opening his eyes and seeing Waya's flushed and exhausted face made him hate himself. The moment the younger boy's arms slipped from his back in exhaustion, Isumi rolled off of him and faced the wall with self-hate.

He had just done another horrible thing. This wasn't just anyone. It was Waya…his best friend, the person he cared most about. Isumi trembled as he clenched his fists and closed his eyes. Waya was only fifteen. At that very moment, Isumi wished he could kill himself for what he had just done.

Feeling the sheets on top of him shift and lips on his back where small wounds from the younger boy's fingernails had dug into his skin, Isumi's eyes flew open in shock. He didn't dare turn around and stared at the wall.

Waya had moved up against Isumi's back and curled up as close as possible to him, kissing the wounds he had made softly. Pressing his forehead against the older boy's back, Waya closed his eyes and whispered softly, "I'm sorry I've hurt you, Isumi-san."

Choking on more unbearable tears, Isumi rolled over and pulled Waya into his embrace again, kissing the top of his damp head over and over. _I'm the one who should be sorry, Waya…! I'm so sorry…_

"Isumi-san…"

The night grew dark and the pain grew worse, but as they continuously moved throughout the night, Waya continued to whisper Isumi's name.

---

The next morning, Waya could not stand up.

Isumi had woken up first with his arms still wrapped tightly around the smaller body next to him. His head ached almost as much as his heart did. Closing his eyes, he stroked the peacefully sleeping Waya's face softly, pushing long brown bangs out of his eyes. Reluctantly letting go, the older boy disappeared into the bathroom for a shower.

When Isumi returned to his room, Waya was still sleeping peacefully. Heart pounding, the older boy walked quietly around the room, picking up their discarded clothes and replacing all of the scattered go stones. Quietly, he stepped out of the room to put their clothes into the washing machine.

This time when he returned, Isumi found Waya sitting up on the bed with the white sheets at his waist. The older boy froze at the door when the younger boy suddenly turned to look at him.

"Ohayou, Isumi-san."

"O…Ohayou…"

Isumi knew things would never be quite the same between them, but why did something in Waya's eyes tell him everything would be all right? Silently, he walked to his closet to find some clothes for the younger boy. The sheets shifted noisily and was followed by a soft thump on the ground. Isumi froze again and the hand that was holding clothes trembled and become numb, dropping the clothes to the ground.

"Kuso," Waya cursed with a wince as he willed himself to stand. His legs, which were covered in blood on his inner thighs, refused to comply.

Shaking visibly, Isumi moved to Waya's side and silently lifted the boy back onto the bed with obvious sorrow in his eyes. His heart nearly stopped when he saw Waya's bloodstained skin. So much blood… Instantly, he threw aside his sheets and sure enough large bloodstains were clearly visible on the white fabric. Isumi felt like he was going to be sick. "Waya… I'm…"

"It's ok, really, Isumi-san," Waya tried to assure him with a painful smile. "It's really not as bad as it looks…"

Lifting the smaller boy off of the bed and into the bathroom, Isumi carefully placed him into the bathtub, quickly filling it up with water. Waya remained silent throughout the process. He knew that no matter what he said at the moment, it wouldn't make Isumi feel any better.

Once the bathtub was filled with warm water, Isumi silently rolled up his sleeves and reached into the water with a blushing face. "Let me clean you up a little," he whispered to the boy quietly as he fingered the bloodstained area with a soft towel. Waya winced visibly and pulled his head back to rest against the cool tile. Brows creasing, Isumi wrapped one arm around Waya, using the other to gently wipe at the blood. "Waya… Does it hurt a lot?"

"Not when you're with me," the younger boy replied softly, leaning into Isumi's one arm embrace. "Do you hate me?"

"No!" Isumi called out in alarm, biting his lip as he gazed into Waya's mischievously twinkling eyes.

"Heh, that's what I thought," Waya said with a small chuckle. He winced and squeezed his eyes shut as the blood on his legs was slowly cleaned off and floated to the surface.

Somehow, the tension grew lighter as Waya playfully flicked water at Isumi's face. The older boy blushed when Waya laughed at his surprise. It seemed like just another day between them, except Isumi had to carry the younger boy around the house. The smaller boy found it strangely amusing and couldn't resist messing with Isumi's hair as he was carried around. After all, Isumi had done so to him many times before.

Seated on the couch near the kitchen, Waya rolled up his sleeves. Isumi was about a head taller than him and his clothes were much baggier. Despite the size difference, Waya felt comfortable. However when he looked up at Isumi, he found that he seemed to be the only one who was enjoying himself.

"Ne, Isumi-san," Waya piped up as they sat across from each other at the table to eat. Pretty much completely forgetting what had happened during the night, the younger boy asked, "You're not still upset about the test, are you? I'm sure you'll make it next year and…"

"I'm going to quit being an Insei," Isumi said quietly, placing his bowl and chopsticks back down on the table. He seemed to have suddenly lost his appetite. "I don't think I can make it, Waya."

Slamming his chopsticks down, Waya reached across the table and lightly flicked the older boy's forehead. "Isumi-san!" he began angrily. "You're the top Insei, the best! You defeated Ochi who became a pro, and…and I'm sure you can defeat me too."

Isumi lifted his head, gazing at the other boy in surprise. Waya turned his head slightly to frown at the wall. Isumi knew it was difficult for Waya to say such a thing and in his heart, he was grateful.

"Don't give up so early before you try again. I believe you can make it, Isumi-san," Waya said with a soft sigh as he turned back to face his friend. Smiling sheepishly, he went on, "If I made it, I'm sure you can too. Somehow, I feel that being a pro just wouldn't be a same without you there too. I'll wait for you, Isumi-san."

Reaching across the table, Isumi took hold of Waya's blushing face and kissed him softly. "Waya," he muttered quietly, looking into the other boy's eyes, "after today, let's not see each other for a while."

Waya frowned visibly and blinked a few times, silently asking the older boy for a reason for the sudden arrangement.

"I…I don't want to hurt you anymore," Isumi trailed off, awkwardly pulling away.

"I don't like that answer," Waya said pointedly, still frowning. "If you're talking about what happened between us…" His voice trailed off and his face instantly turned bright red. Closing his eyes, he muttered, "That was my fault too. Isumi-san…if I wanted you to stop, I would have said so. I don't want to hear you blaming yourself about that anymore. Give me a different reason now. A real one."

"I'll make you wait for me until I can catch up to where you are…"

Victory dawning on his face, Waya propped his head up on the table and grinned at the older boy, "Much better. Does this mean you're back to yourself, Isumi-san? I won't let just anyone kiss me, you know."

"Itadakimasu," Isumi said quietly, eating his food as Waya grinned at him. Waya, he thought, had a poisonous touch. With every feather-soft touch, he died a little inside and he was sure that if he held on too tightly, he would die quickly for sure. Dying isn't so bad though. With death, he could be happy, but with Waya, he was happier.

They spent the day together just as they usually would. Lying around the house and playing a few games of Go. When it grew late, Isumi took Waya back home and carried him to the door, much to the younger boy's embarrassment. His mother was surprised but could only babble, "I'm sorry if Yoshitaka was any trouble to you, Isumi-kun."

Isumi simply smiled politely and told her that it was thanks to her son that he could smile again before carrying him up to his room. Waya leaned against Isumi's back with a heated face and winced when he was placed carefully on his bed. They shared a soft, chaste kiss before Isumi stepped out of the room with a tiny smile. No words of love were spoken between them, but they both understood that words weren't needed.

"I'm going to catch up to you, Waya," Isumi said quietly before he closed the door behind him.

"I'm looking forward to it," Waya replied softly as the door slowly closed shut. "I'm looking forward to it…"

---

"Have you seen Isumi-san around?" Shindou asked brightly as he sat across the table from Waya at a fast food restaurant.

"No," Waya lied easily, taking a sip of his drink. He really did not want to share details with Shindou. "I called him a few times, but he never picked up." Which was the truth. "He quit being an Insei though. Graduation Insei usually don't leave until March."

Shindou gaped for a moment. After a few more words about Isumi, the topic changed to kifu and Shindou blabbed happily about playing against Touya. "It's a chance because we're in the same world now!"

Tilting his head down slightly, Waya smiled at his hands under the table. _Onaji sekai… I finally understand Shindou now. I'll be waiting for the day I can be in the same world as Isumi-san again…_

"So, Waya! Do you know? When will I be able to play Touya?!"

"How would I know?!"

_Hurry up and catch up to me…_

Owari.

--- --- ---

**A/N:** Err… actually, my first Hikaru no Go fan fic… hopefully it was acceptable. I'm currently on episode 50-something, but then again, I haven't watched all my DVDs yet. Heh…;;; ::sweatdrop::

Well, leave a review if you can! :D I would have one of those cute little faces, but ff.net won't let me… you know: v-v --that upside down XD


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